Happy New Year all y’all.

Like it says. Happy new year, and I hope you have a good one.

I’m in hiatus – several, in truth. There was an issue with the employment I took up in mid-December, which has left me in financial limbo until all the council and government offices reopen this week. I jotted down some brief notes, which ran to four pages in Word, so once I’ve written full versions for about four or five different departments to sort everything out, and sent copies to MPs and MSPs and maybe even to that cunt Cameron, I might put a version up here. It will make interesting reading for anyone who’d like a first-hand account of how you can end up significantly poorer working than signing on the dole. Merry Christmas…

I had a quiet Hogmanay, on account of everyone I know either being out of the country, or being on the east coast with their families and/or partners. Doesn’t really bother me, I once hosted a Hogmanay party that was so poorly attended even I left. That’s a true story. Tonight, I stayed in and spruced the flat up a bit – in keeping with tradition – and listened to a bootleg of Underworld playing live in Bondi Beach on New Years Eve 2008. It was good to imagine all the places I could have been instead, and I hope that in some parallel universe there’s a version of me that got it right.
I didn’t even have a drink until the bells, and really that was mostly just to toast absent friends – 2011 took three of the good guys, friends and acquaintances, and also (on Christmas morning) my Great Aunt who – at 92 – was almost the same age as the other three combined. Here’s tae us, wha’s like us? Gye few, an’ they’re a’ deid.

2011 held an almighty “up” for me too. My overriding memory is of stealing Combichrist’s cheer in London (Gig 37), when I went on to introduce them to 900 of their fans, before watching their set from the side of the stage standing amidst their managers, promoters, and significant others. So privileged, so fortunate. Nothing else from this year really compares, and it’s one of the greatest experiences of my life. Good luck 2012, the bar has been set pretty high…

I decided to be all symbolic at the bells, and made my first act of the year signing my passport renewal form – which I can ill-afford, but psychologically it gives me peace to know that the escape route is open… Anyway, in my enthusiasm, the pen slipped and I signed outwith the border, thus invalidating the entire form. So I’m off to a cracking start.

Of course, Hogmanay wouldn’t be Hogmanay without Rikki Fulton and some Scotch & Wry, so here’s one of the classic sketches:

From my own comedy perspective, I’ll be gigging at The Halt on January 24th – the first and only confirmed date of the year, so far.

Anyway, kick 2011 up the arse and embrace 2012 with open arms. What’s the worst that could happen this year, apart from the USA going to war with nuclear-armed Iran? Still, with the Queen’s Jubilee and the Olympics I’m sure London will have lots to look forward to. The rest of us might as well get drunk tonight and just stay that way to take the edge off… Happy New Year! 🙂




About Jordan

I try to write engaging, witty, clever things. Sometimes I manage. I've done some low-key stand-up comedy, & I post blogs about true daft experiences. View all posts by Jordan

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